Miscarriage, Words Don't HelpEver heard that one? "Having an early miscarriage is just like getting your period". Well, after many miscarriages, I had to try to convince myself of this just to survive the repeated emotional trauma.
But in reality, for most women, it's much more than a period. It's the loss of what could have been. Here is an article of one woman's experience:
But until you belong to the imaginary club of Mothers Without Children, it is a secret planet of pain, all but invisible to the outside world.
I recently had my third miscarriage in a year. It happened early in the pregnancy, and it was dismissed as no big deal — “chemical pregnancy” seems to be the term of art. Let’s not overreact, no need for hysterics, keep moving. “We’ll treat it as though you’re just getting your period,” as my doctor put it.
See also: Miscarriage over 40 (www.getpregnantover40.com)
But honestly, it is not just like getting your period. Psychologically, of course, it is nothing like it, but physically it is different, too. I had cramps for hours that left my ribs feeling bruised, and then four days later I was back at work and exhausted because I was still bleeding a lot — not an alarming amount, but enough to make me schedule meetings in rooms near bathrooms, and to send me home in the afternoon for a two-hour nap. I wonder how men would cope. All of the pain, mess, furtive tidying-up, shame and soldiering-on seem so fundamentally female to me.
excerpted from:A Planet of Pain, Where No Words Are Quite Right